Cleaning up your messes

I’m a bit of a clean freak. Not in the way we traditionally think about it, but in keeping my life sanitary, or you could even say sane-itary.

There is a quality of having backlogs and things undone that can take you out of the moment and burden your present. I notice the more sane-itarty I am, the more I’m able to appreciate and be in the present, and be present with whoever I’m with.

One example of being sane-itary is not having a pile of unread trade journals on your desk, another example is that I, for the most part, keep my email inbox hovering around zero. Sometimes there are 10 things that are kind of bookmarks or reminders, but I regularly process all my emails. Being up to date with things like wills, insurance, home repairs, appliance repairs, car care, bills paid, letters sent, communication made, plans updated. For some reason, these kinds of things hover around you all the time as long as they remain undone in your mind. They clutter your mind. They clutter your energy field. They clutter you emotionally and mentally. Even a disorganized closet, unwashed clothes, or unmade bed can trigger the feeling that there is always more to do. Sometimes it takes an effort to sanitize these things, but it is great to get on top of them or to have some maintenance program to stay sane-itary.

Suggested Self-Inquiry: Make a list of all the things that you would have to do to get sanitary and start cleaning them up. Even just making the list is a step in the right direction, it gets it out of your head and into a context where you can address them.


To go a little farther on this topic: read this blog about shifting your life from doing to being and read this blog about blocking time.

Meet Peggy

Hi wonderful people, I’m Peggy! I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself.

I just joined the team at Inquiry Method and wanted you to know a little more about me and what I’ll be doing. For a long time, Kyle has had a vision for more connection and community and I’ve come in to help build that connection.

 

MY BACKGROUND:

I’ve been involved in the philosophy for a long time and I was first introduced to this company and the concepts at the age of 7 when my mom started coming to events. Her enthusiasm spread, and consequently, I was raised by an incredible community of relatives who also embraced the philosophy. I attended my first One Day/Personal Renewal when I was 8, my first Mountain Experience when I was 12, and became a Graduate of all of the experiences by the time I was 18. I grew up understanding how to feel my own truth and how to follow it, how to love with overflowing warmth, and how to create a space of safety and acceptance for myself and for others.

I’ve spent the last 11 years working in community organizing and activism – training people on how to effectively move forward on the path for things they care about. I spent that time working with people from all walks of life, but throughout it all, I got to focus on listening to where people were at, what was in their way, and I got to help them get clarity around what they wanted and how to get there.

Now I’m here, and I’m looking forward to supporting you on your path.

 

WHAT I’LL BE DOING:

Upfront, I want you to know that I would LOVE to talk to you. I want to hear your ideas and to share my energy and enthusiasm. I want to support you to take the next step towards being your whole amplified self.

If you’ve been involved for a long time, I want to help you continue. I want to help raise the quality of what we offer you, and help you design the next phase of what you are looking for.

If you’re just getting started, I want to support you. I want to give you the best experience possible. In the immediate, I want you to be able to achieve and resolve what you are looking to. And then, help you continue to get more in touch with your own source and continue in the process.

If you used to be involved and you stepped back, I want to re-connect and see what is possible in this phase of your life. Invite you to re-discover the philosophy in the context of where your life is now.

If you don’t know what you’re looking for, but know you want more of this. I want to introduce you to tools and events that allow you to stay present in the process, or at least regularly inspired and invited to participate in your own growth.

Wherever you are at, I’ll be reaching out to you to see if you’d like to talk. I want to meet you and hear your story. If you want to talk now, send me a quick note at peggy@inquirymethod.com or sign up for a time here.

I look forward to connecting with you!

With love and gratitude,
Peggy

Reducing Your Shoulder

A good friend of mine dislocated his shoulder at a retreat I attended last week.  A dislocated shoulder is very painful and scary; my friend had amazing composure and presence in his discomfort.  However you cannot, like in the movies, put it back in yourself, you need help.

I have been trained how to “reduce” (the term for putting it back in the socket) a dislocated shoulder but I have never done it, two very different things. We made a call and got additional professional instruction, which involved my friend laying face down on a massage table, supporting my friend to relax and let go, and then gently pulling down and rotating his arm back into place.  It happened easier than we could imagine. It dropped back in almost effortlessly, painlessly, to tears of relief and gratitude.

Inquiry Method is the same.  Inquiry Method works because we receive loving, skilled support.  It works because we are in connection. It works because we are held.  It works because we can deeply relax. It works because we can allow ourselves to return to our natural state.  Our being wants to return to wholeness.

We are never broken, but we may have some things dislocated.  If you want to reduce your dislocation, get skilled loving support. Put yourself in the position and location where you can resolve your dislocation and allow yourself to receive support.  When you resolve your dislocation you will experience tears of relief and joy as you return to your natural state of wholeness.

 

 

 


Looking for a place like this? Come to an event or schedule a call to talk through how we can support you

Honesty vs. Vulnerability

I was walking with a friend the other day and they and they said they were working on being honest in all their relationships.  There was a little part of me that cringed.  In my experience in having people “be honest” with me it usually meant that I was about to be criticized, honesty often has the quality of telling me about something they judged about me.  In a momentary burst of genius I said “I would rather you be vulnerable with me”.  They got it immediately and agreed that vulnerability would be more productive and lead to more closeness and intimacy.

In my mind, and I think culturally that there is a big difference between honesty and vulnerability.  In vulnerability we tend to share about ourselves, we are willing to be seen and have nothing to protect, we recognize and take responsibility for our feelings and actions. In honesty: “I think you are a real jerk sometimes”, in vulnerability: “sometimes I feel insecure around you”.  Which one creates more connection?  Which one makes you a victim and which one empowers you to grow and change?  I would love to hear your honesty vs. vulnerability comparisons; post some examples to help us all see the difference.

Much love,

Kyle

How Are You?

When somebody asks “how are you?,” what do you say? Do you say “fine?” If so, I suggest going online and looking up what the acronym “F.I.N.E.” stands for. Do you say “good” or “bad?” Do you give a superficial answer, or a deep answer?

Sometimes, if someone is asking to be polite, it’s appropriate to say “I’m fine, how are you?” Sometimes, when it seems like someone is genuinely asking, we can be more honest. We may say that we didn’t have a great day, or we are not feeling very well.

My suggestion? Don’t use any of these answers. The next time someone asks how you are, give them a percentage. If you had a bad day, respond by telling them you’re 5% good. If you’re in a good mood, share that you’re “90% awesome”. This small habit will start to free up how you’re feeling. It can get rid of the mindset that anything under 100% is bad; if you think about it, even 25% awesome is pretty good!

Love,

Kyle

Inquiry Management™ eCourse Launch: Lots of Exciting Things Happening Here!

There is so much going on around here lately, and the recent clarity of focus and understanding has created a whole new wave of enthusiasm and engagement. Now we have Mountain Experiences, Freedom Experiences, the Stop Parenting Book, Inquiry Weekend Experiences, Blogs, and Podcasts. To add to the excitement and energy, it is time to announce the release our first eCourse. The eCourse is a powerful segment that focuses on business, but also applies to family, relationships, and self.

The eCourse introduces the understanding of the Levels of Participation, or how we play with and interact with others. This understanding is an extremely profound and impactful understanding in every aspect of our lives, and will impact those around you and yourself. The eCourse is a fundamental building block, entry point, and deepening point into Inquiry Method™.

I would like to share this with you! The eCourse consists of nine classes, with each class taking about 40 minutes. It also includes an individual, private workbook for your reflections. You will love the course and the course is a wonderful way to share the philosophy with people you care about and others around you.

Part of the intention for this course is to give you, your employees, and your family a way to understand the concepts and communicate how to work and play together. Levels of Participation is vocabulary that we are sadly lacking in our culture. This eCourse will undoubtedly help you in your personal and professional life.

Inquiry Management™ eCourse can be licensed for individual use or alternatively site licenses are available for your corporation. Sign-up by 11/30/2017 to receive $50 off. Enter the coupon code “welcome” upon checkout!

You will find more information HERE

Growth Centered Business

What if we were to change our whole idea of what business was for?

What if the primary purpose of business was to grow people, to support them in their own personal success and fulfillment?

It is time for a revolution in business; in why we do business and how we do it. There is no question that a business that is committed to the success, growth and fulfillment of the people who work there will be successful, will experience growth, and ultimately will provide abundance for everyone involved.

There is no question that this kind of business will create amazing products and services. There is no question that the relationships that are created with customers will be mutually beneficial.

The divide we have created between work and life, career and happiness, between a paycheck and a lifestyle is killing us all slowly. It does not have to be this way.

From here on out I am going to call these kinds of businesses Growth Centered Businesses. In a growth-centered business, values trump and inform systems rather than the other way around. Leadership and mentorship go hand in hand. There is an awareness of the ambitions of everyone in the organization and a commitment of support to create an environment that rewards and encourages success and growth.

The primary intention in a Growth Centered Businesses is that employees and owners live fulfilling and meaningful lives on every level, that they feel that they are giving their best, and their best is getting better; that, as we give our best, it amplifies and improves our lives rather than takes over our lives.

The experience of work should be fulfilling, meaningful, exciting, and supportive; it is something we should look forward to; it is an environment where we must feel we are expressing and growing our best selves. Let’s start the revolution now; first with ourselves and then with everyone who looks to our leadership.

Antifragile

I am reading a great book:  Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder by Nassim Taleb.  His concept is that there are things (and people) that are fragile, meaning that they are damaged by disorder, change, chaos, and errors; and that there are antifragile things (and people) who grow and benefit from change, chaos, disorder, and errors.

Systems (and people) that try to defend against change; that strive for control and are eventually subject to failure and breakdown are considered fragile.

Systems (and people) that benefit from change and chaos and grow stronger through error and failure are considered antifragile.

Inquiry Method is an anti-fragile system.  In Inquiry Method, everything that occurs that creates a “negative” or disruptive effect is considered an opening to growth and development.  In Inquiry Method, we celebrate surprise, the unknown, the unexpected because it leads to opening ourselves to One Self, deeper truth, and maturity.

In Nassim’s world, we are a tribe of anitfragilistas!  Bring on the chaos for it will only make us stronger.

Growing People

In my mind, the primary purpose and goal of any business is growing people.

It is a radical view; when I ask most leaders why they are doing business of course, one of the first reasons to come up is to make money; to this I say “of course, but why?”.  Many of the leaders I work with are beyond the economic threshold for happiness and security, so this is an interesting question, a personal one that deserves to be explored.

The next answer is usually, to serve the stockholders, or to serve the customers; this is all well and good, but it continues to ignore the people who are doing the serving.

Which brings us back to the people who are most directly involved in the process, and often the most overlooked.  In all the other reasons for doing business, money, stockholders, and customers, the people doing the work are overlooked.  Often they are stressed, depressed, haggard, uninspired…

What if we radically changed our view and said that the reason to do business was to serve the people in the company?  What if the whole idea of business was to serve the well-being and happiness of the people doing the work? (Impossible?)  What if we went even further and said that this business was entirely devoted to the success of everyone who worked for it?  What if we said that our whole focus as a business was to grow people?

Many people would think that kind of business would have to fail, that it would not be profitable, that the owner(s) would suffer economically.

What kind of employees would that type of business attract?  Retain?

How do employees who are inspired to succeed perform?  Contribute?

As an owner of that kind of company, how would you feel about it?  About yourself?

This kind of company is possible and will be the company of the very near future. Companies who do not become magnets for talent and success will struggle while companies that devote themselves to developing culture, that encourage success, contribution, happiness and well-being will thrive.  The future looks bright.

On Dying

You don’t see me endorse something very often.

The other day I attended an extraordinary event led by Stephen Jenkinson. It was one of the best talks/presentations I have attended. The subject was death, and it was exceptional that this dark subject could be such an uplifting and life-affirming experience.

Stephen has attended many deaths and read from his book Die Wise, which I have ordered, but not yet read. The readings were interspersed with humor and deep insight into life and death. Stephen speaks of us as a death phobic culture and implies the cost we pay for this position.

Of particular interest to me was the perspective that death is our last act, the ultimate perspective to view life and to share it. He says that our death is not ours but the community’s; that by “dying well” we teach those left behind about what life really is. His readings were full of these gems.

“Dying well” in his world is not with pride and toughness but with vulnerability, openness, intimacy, truth. That as we share our process, those who receive our experience will recognize or have a window into that which we can only speculate about until we receive the message that death is imminent.

He also shared short, poignant insights into the dying process and perspectives that allow us to consider dying well and to support the process in others. For example, that the loss of appetite is common in those nearing death and that families often try to encourage eating to “keep your strength up” at just the time when we need to lose our strength. He says that death requires you to lose your strength (not become weak) but to lose our strength, so beautiful.

He speaks of modern “med-tech” and its effect on the dying process and end of life decisions. We speak of the “quality of life,” he speaks of the “quality of death.”

Each story and insight further illustrates the process of death. I left feeling death was more beautiful and more immense that I had been aware of.

He said that the difference between angels and demons was that angels brought you what you want, and demons brought you what you don’t want, but neither gift was less meaningful or valuable. Death he says, is meeting a demon in the dark woods.

I encourage you to explore and connect with his work in some way, truly life affirming and expanding.

Great gratitude to Stephen, you are a gift to us all!

Link to Stephen’s website: Orphan Wisdom