Templating your life

Once your heart is committed to something it’s easier to do it.

Here is a tool to help you commit to practices you want to incorporate into your life: Put it in your schedule and then just never argue with your schedule.

A study showed that you only have x number of willpower points per day. It’s why it’s easy to follow your diet first thing in the morning, but then after work you’ve expended them all, so at that point, it feels like pizza or beer is a really good idea. We only have a few points per day, so we expend them throughout the day, and then we run out of them towards the end of the day. So, the end of the day is not a good time to make a decision or make efforts.

Some of the guys who are into hacking life say they decide ahead of time what they are going to eat all day long so they don’t waste any willpower points on deciding what to eat. They say – I go to work at the same time, I wake up at the same time, I use the same toothbrush, etc. They save their willpower points for later in the day. They eliminate all these decisions so that they save their willpower points for things that are significant.

This is kind of like that. If you want to do yoga, put yoga in your calendar, and just do what your schedule says. Surrender to your schedule so it doesn’t take any willpower to go to yoga because it is in there the same as if you had scheduled a client. And you treat it like it is the same. I call it templating your life. Template your year. Template your life. Template a month. Template a week. Even template a day. You are pre-creating it so that you can just flow into it.

You don’t have to be in negotiation around things because you’ve created a structure. And it’s fine to change it, but change the structure, don’t just say “I’m not doing that thing today”. Meaning, if you don’t want to do yoga today, you either have to change the structure and quit saying that you go to yoga every day, or you go to yoga.  This makes it a container you can flow into and find your rhythm.

You don’t question your decision. You create a container and then you stick to it.

Seasons

Seasons are a form of rhythm that are undeniable and a powerful influence on our lives. In our culture we have kind of denied those rhythms and often try to just keep on plowing ahead regardless of them, but it’s important to recognize their effect on us.

For example, summer is a time for activity and is not really a time for creation. In summer, we tend to want to play and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Summer is a time to not just enjoy life but also to recognize and realize and harvest what we have created.

Fall for me is always the get-my-act-together and get-things-started kind of time; it is a great time to move into action and make new commitments and get down to things.

Winter is a great time for reflection and turning inward, self-reflection.  Although we like the up of summer there is a turning in and a “down” of winter that we can enjoy and appreciate.

Spring is a time for new exploration, new growth, new romance, and starting new things.  Planting our seeds and the expression of what we mined and discovered in ourselves in the inner explorations of winter.

You may also notice that these same patterns occur in the month, the week, the day, in a conversation, …where else?  We are living in wheels within wheels; awareness allows us to navigate them better.

Look into the patterns that you may have cultivated with these seasons, to discover how to make the most of these cycles for your life.

Love,
Kyle

Opinion and Truth

There is a big difference between your opinion and the truth.

Opinions are imposed, truth is shared.

Opinions can be argued, truth cannot.

Opinions need defending, truth does not.

Opinions are thoughts, truth is self evident.

Opinions come from you, truth comes through you.

Opinions are arrogant, truth is humble.

Opinions are force, truth is love.

Opinions create separation, truth brings us together.

Opinions can be owned, the truth is for everyone.

Truth can be proved, opinions cannot.

Truth is found through inquiry, opinions are invented at whim.

You don’t get credit for the truth, only your capacity to hear it.

Truth told as an opinion loses its power.

We each have a choice which one to hold most dear, but they can never be equal.

~ Kyle Mercer

Experiencing Your Feelings

Fear, hurt, sadness, anger…none of these feelings are so bad if we are willing to just experience them without judgment. You may find that simply by experiencing your feelings they suddenly have less power or importance. You may also find that they are actually giving you important information that you might miss if you ignore them. Start to become more comfortable with all feelings; you have the capacity to experience them and realize they are not so bad.

Connecting with Source

One of the things that I do to touch in with source is I close my eyes and get quiet. This is a wonderful thing because the head is so quick and wants to jump in. Notice that, especially in conversation,  the head wants to jump in and fill the space. We are conditioned to fill space with talk, eating, drinking, mobile phones and  other distractions.

This is why people meditate, so they can learn to listen and create space and pay attention to sensation and the feeling of connecting with their source. Once mastered, it becomes an invitation for what is wanted. The more that we cultivate our ability to touch source the more we have this rich knowledge of what we want.

See how it feels to close your eyes and be with pause to take time to connect with your source.  Practice making space during different moments of your day. Enjoy making decisions from source rather than your mind. Watch how it opens you up to finding your truth and finding what is truly wanted.

With love,

Kyle

Kyle’s Process for Surrender to Life’s Challenges

Inquiry Method’s fundamental three step process for surrender to life’s challenges:

1. Change it. Go ahead. Change your circumstances.

… If you cannot change it or you decide not to:

2. Resist it & be unhappy.

Or,

3. Accept it & be at peace.

Reducing Drama in Your Life

I recently started watching a little TV again, and discovered sitcoms. It has been interesting to watch that there is one basic premise that makes a sitcom work. Changing one dynamic of the sitcom would make it fall apart. Every piece of humor on a sitcom comes back to lack of communication; typically, it has to do with somebody not telling somebody else the truth, hiding, lying, or being unauthentic. A lot of that laughter is recognition of the ridiculousness of life. The reason we laugh is because we can recognize the feeling or difficulty ourselves.

I suspect if you look into most of the drama and difficulty in your life that it is created by the same dynamic. Where is the drama in your life? What communication would have helped to solve it? If you do not want your life to be a sitcom, what do you want it to be like? What kind of communication would support that?

Much love,

Kyle

Planning: Executing your Vision, Strategy and Tactics

In all aspects of our lives, planning is an integral part. Planning exercises are important in group settings, such as a couple, family, or for a business, and are equally crucial, individually. The objective of this blog is to help you recognize the power and meaning that can be created through the intention of planning.

The first element of planning is creating your vision. To create your vision, project a period into the future; for example, imagine yourself in one, five, or ten years. What do you want your future to look like? One beautiful application of this step is as a couple. Let’s say you are fifty, jointly creating a vision of what life will be in twenty years, when you are seventy. It is such a powerful process because as you create this beautiful vision together, you both become bonded and equally participating towards fulfilling this joint vision, which in turn creates beauty in the relationship. This visioning process can also be conducted in the context of a business. Or, you can create your own personal vision to motivate and inspire yourself to shape your dreams.

In support of vision, the next level of consideration is strategy. Strategy is the creation of the larger picture- specifically, what are some of the broad topics we would need to accomplish our vision? In the example of planning for when we turn seventy, we may intend to retire to Costa Rica and live in a beach house. In order to achieve this goal, we must make sure that our finances are in a certain shape, define how we would like to be with respect to our health, and describe what we need to do in our relationship to develop wonderful communication and intimacy. Just as we often do in a business or individually, we would define strategic objectives and goals to help us achieve our future vision.

The third level is tactics. Tactics are the day-to-day things that I need to start developing and acting on to fulfill my strategy. For example, planning a meeting to develop a financial plan with my financial advisor, creating a benchmark for required salary, scheduling couples counseling to develop our communication, or learning Spanish. Whatever we need to do to manifest our desired outcome.

In summary, there are three levels:

Vision: where we are, or I am, going.

Strategy: what major things have to get accomplished to get the results.

Tactics: what day-to-day activities are needed to fulfill our strategy.

Create a document with your vision, strategy and tactics and lay out a plan for yourself.

The next blog will talk about how to go deeper with creating that vision, and in view of creating your legacy.

Talk to you next week.

Love,

Kyle

Happy New Year!

What potential rests in a new year for you? Consider writing about what you would like to manifest in yourself and your consciousness over the next year. Areas of consideration: what changes or development would you like to see in:

  • Your emotional self?
  • Your mental self?
  • Your creative self?
  • Your connection with others?
  • Your relationship to self and,
  • Your relationship to life?

I recommend you take the time to sit down and write a paragraph for each area of consideration. Use this as guidance for preparing and developing your coming year. Find activities, books and other ways to develop in each one of these areas for 2018.

Life is so precious and we can take it so casually. Let us use this opportunity of a new year to get clear and create intention about calling in an amazing life.

Happy New Year!

With love,

Kyle

Freedom

In preparing for The Freedom Experience coming up in three weeks, November 30th – December 3rd, I have realized the implications of my new learning and understanding, and have seen how it will profoundly affect this experience.

Each one of the experiences, the Mountain Experience and the Freedom Experience, are designed to work with a different level of consciousness. At the Mountain Experience, we learn to recognize that we are not the emotional pain that we carry. We grow and move to the next level when we can separate ourselves from it and ultimately heal it. The Freedom Experience is the step after this, and has different goals.

At the Freedom Experience, we learn to disentangle from self-judgements and identities that we may have associated with ourselves. As we know, “nothing can be solved at the Level of Consciousness that created it.” First, to resolve our conflict we must go to a higher level. When we recognize that we have judgement on some aspect of ourselves, we do not eliminate the judgement, but we notice it. In noticing the judgement that we have on ourselves, an amazing thing happens to us: we go to the next level of consciousness. We no longer believe the judgement is us. By doing that, we can notice the behavior, the part of us that is showing up that may be inappropriate, that may or may not be serving.

When we get to the level of consciousness where our judgement ends, we resolve an inner conflict that steals our energy and keeps us from being fully ourselves. As we begin to recognize and ease our judgments in the Freedom Experience, we will have more agency in the choices we make.

We hope that you will join us on this journey.

Love,

Kyle