Ego’s Trap

Attachment to the ego is the primary obstacle to our ability to lead effectively. When we assert our truth, opinions and assumptions – we are directive in a way that limits growth. Inquiry Method™ is a philosophy and a practice that cultivates the ability to set ego aside and to inquire into, ask questions, and employ natural curiosity in order to connect with deeper truths and insight. Using and growing natural curiosity about life and people will enable you to become an inspirational leader and will elevate how you live your life, how you do business, how you relate to others, and how you perceive yourself.

Great leaders are not so much attached to themselves and their success as to great ideas and inspiration. Great leaders inspire others toward a cause, not through devotion to the individual.

It is my intention that Inquiry Method revolutionize how we live our lives, how we do business, how we relate to each other, and how we see ourselves. In fact it has already begun.

Our Inquiry Management eCourse will lead you through the levels of participation, these levels parallel levels of personal development that are available to you and will be necessary for you to be able to fulfill the promise of this course. Traditionally we think of growing as accumulating things, in fact these levels actually become more available to you as you let go of things. The capacity to let go is fundamental to progression in Inquiry Method, each time we let go of something we open to new capacity and depth, we let more in.

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Stagnant Energy, Case Study

Last week I introduced the concept of stagnant energy and how Inquiry Method can identify and release these blockages and get the energy moving again.  

The same is true not only for individuals, but also when I work with a business.  When we recognize that there is a blockage based on the markers (stress, worry, frustration, etc.), we can work to remove the obstacle. 

Recently, Jim, CEO of a manufacturing firm, wanted to understand why projects were getting delayed. No one on his management team was able to pinpoint the exact reason why.  

Through Inquiry Method, Jim realized that he had an accountability problem, and we thus scheduled a two-day renewal to work with his leadership team. By applying Inquiry Method Management tools and processeswe discovered that no one on the team viewed accountability in a healthy light. We set about redefining the term so that everyone could be aligned in a new view that was free from past associations with blame. This new view of “accountability” involved ownership (noticing things that are and are not working), creativity (applying expertise to find solutions to problems), and transparency (creating bonds of trust). 

In just this small step at the beginning of our session,there was already a noticeable surge of productivity, energy, and engagement from the team. As Inquiry Management tools and processes become familiar and utilized in the DNA of your company, you will notice the upsurge of energy and productivity followed by a smooth, efficient, and new impassioned synergy within your teams.

As a leader or manager using Inquiry Management and Inquiry Leadership, your primary job is to identify the stagnant energy in your organization and through inquiry and mentorship help to get the energy moving again.  Once mastered, this skill will prove extremely powerful to your company.

When you recognize the markers in yourself (stress, anxiety, frustration, etc.), it is a clear signal that you have some work to do. The stagnant energy will inevitably take its toll on you… both on your physical and mental health. In your company, stagnant energy will negatively effect profitability, morale, employee retention, customer satisfaction, and your ability to thrive.  The longer stagnant energy stays in your system or your company, the more damage it does.  Don’t run away from the pain; face it. Do your work, get some help, use Inquiry Method, and get the energy moving again. The breakthrough is exciting and liberating.  Being in balance and flow is joyful and nurturing.

Peace, love, and kindness,

Kyle

How Deep Is Life?

When did we begin to believe we had to do it all on our own?

We have this idea in our culture that we are supposed to be independent, handle everything ourselves. So we shut down and close the world out of our inner life.

As we repress our selves inside, we grow thicker walls.

Inside the walls, the loops of thought repeat over and over again.

Until we allow someone in to support us in questioning our thoughts and beliefs, most of us are stuck playing out life with the same playbook. Maybe we’ll encounter new situations and questions but our approach is always with the same set of tools, or perhaps occasionally we come up with a new one.

What happens when we can open enough to download a whole new set of plays, a whole new set of rules, to enter into a new field of play? The game all of a sudden gets bigger. It may be disorienting at first but as we start to get grounded in this deeper game with deeper rewards: Tic-tac-toe to checkers to chess to…, each new mastery becomes a deeper discovery into what is possible.

The depth of life is infinite why stop here?

 

Women in the Workplace

The exclusion of women from leadership positions in our companies and organizations has deeply affected the way we do business. We urgently need to have masculine/feminine balance inform the business (and governing) process.

Where the masculine is good at getting things done, it also tends to overlook the impact and ancillary effects of how something is accomplished. The feminine tends to look at whole systems, the wellbeing of people, and long-term success. As I have said many times before, the masculine in all of us is concerned with “what I want (or need)” where the feminine in all of us tends to look to “what we want (or need)”.

What if we were surrounded by people, businesses, agencies, and systems that were just as concerned for our long term well being as immediate short term gains? How would it affect our culture of business?

 

Finding Your Purpose

Finally, you have found the definitive guide to finding your purpose.

I was speaking with a client the other day and a curious question (inquiry) arose in me. We were talking about finding purpose; something that is on many people’s minds and is often a misunderstood topic. What we really mean when we are looking for a purpose is that we are looking to find a way of expressing our love, that is the bottom line.

When we express love in any form we feel it…we feel love. So we are all looking for a way to best channel our love so that we feel more of it. If you want to find your purpose, find any activity where you feel that you are expressing your love. You can change your purpose every day if you like, you can be expressing your purpose every moment if you like.

I have specialized in mentoring for part of my day because the better I get at it the more love I experience. I am also practicing expressing my love through tennis, my relationship with my son, yoga, community, housekeeping, art, feeding the jays out front; I am surrounded by purpose, amazing!

You are surrounded by purpose; your purpose is to experience and express love, not just as a (write in your profession here) but all the time and everywhere!

It is so simple, so profound, start practicing your purpose today.

Having Enough

We all have the thing or things that we feel will bring us happiness. as we strive for these things we have to sacrifice other things that serve us, sometimes we sacrifice our health, families, work, etc.

We each pick things that we feel or believe will give us happiness, however these things do not always bring happiness. Often, if we look, we can see that there are people who have these things that are not happy but we continue to give them the power of happiness in our mind.

Things to which we give the power of happiness include:

  • Money
  • Property
  • Possessions
  • Relationships
  • Children
  • Power
  • Fame
  • Recognition
  • Security
  • Etc.

As long as we keep pursuing these things as sources of happiness we keep needing more and better in the hope that they will confer the expected happiness.

It’s not that we can’t have these things, we just have to recognize their powerlessness in creating sustainable happiness.  We may also notice that while they may give us a momentary burst of happiness it is fleeting and not ultimately satisfying.

It’s important to notice how much time and suffering we expend to get these momentary bursts of happiness.  If you work long and hard at a job you do not love to afford a big house and then measure the work and unhappiness against the joy that the big house provides, you may find that there is an imbalance.  However, if you have a job that you love that provides you with an income large or small and have a house that matches that income you may find that you have more moments of happiness and satisfaction.

It is simply putting happiness first, inner happiness and creating a life that supports that.

Whatever money, possessions, relationships, fame, …etc. that follow will be appropriate to who we truly are.

 

What If Happiness Made You Successful?

You can read this blog and get the idea, the idea is just an idea, you probably have hundreds of such ideas that you’ve collected over time.

Also consider taking these questions one at a time and really answering them, write them down; the change comes from a deeper understanding. See what happens from using a process of inquiry—which means looking deeper than just the idea.

What is success?

What does that mean to you?

How do you achieve it?

What do you do after you have achieved it?

What is the point of success?

We have a myth in our culture that success makes you happy. Have you ever met a successful person who wasn’t happy? I have.

What if the reverse is really what’s true, what if happiness made you successful?

How would that myth change our culture? How would it change how you live your life?