Inquiry as an Approach to Life

Inquiry Method™ is not just a technique for interacting with people or addressing deeper personal issues, but also an approach to life in general.

A while ago, I spoke with some teachers who had talked about our minds as ego and emotions. They referred to how our minds are constantly wanting to put things into the categories of good and bad, positive and negative. So, when we are in our minds, we are always interpreting everything around us from this quality of good and bad. When I heard that, I thought to myself that if I dropped the discernment between good and bad and stopped putting things into those categories, then my life would be neutral.

I thought I would test it, so I imagined that I would drop all good and bad and see if life would be neutral. I was very surprised to find that life was far from neutral. When I looked at it from that perspective of the elimination of good and bad, I was aware of just the miracle of life and even the miracle of existence.

The idea that, out of nothingness, all this appeared, that I even exist, the world exists, this planet exists, the universe exists is truly just an incredible miracle.

I began to understand the deeper, maybe religious or spiritual understanding, or even the practical understanding of the true appreciation, gratitude, and experience of life. This is what was so shocking from breaking the habit of putting things into categories of good and bad; I switched into having wonder, awe, and amazement for just being here.

Any time I remember and bring myself to that place again, I am stunned by the existence of my consciousness, the existence of life, the planet, plants and animals, things that happen, things that come into my life. Cars and cell phones, raindrops, everything starts to take on a quality of wonder.

Innocence and wonder are at the heart of the inquiry approach to life. We are so used to focusing on our wantiness and drives and feeling like there should be something more to life; Inquiry Method TM instead guides us to finding a quality of deep appreciation and acknowledgment in life. Because, when I am out of wantiness, neediness, and exchange, I can be present for my day without needing it to be different. And from that place, I can just be curious and engage in life with a sense of wonder.

Wonder is such a beautiful word that combines a sense of curiosity with a sense of awe; awe implying awareness of beauty, awareness of serendipity, awareness of magic, and even awareness of surprise about life.

Living a Desire Based Life

I recommend a life based on desire. But, how do we know what we want? How do we get to know ourselves?

To get to know your desires, you tap into your source. Get quiet, wait, and see what you desire. Don’t put your attention on your mind or your emotions. Just wait. And, some desire will pop up.

Try it now, ask yourself: What’s one thing you’d like to get out of today?

It’s not a thought, not a should, not a reaction to the emotional body. It comes from your source. Get quiet, and wait for a desire to pop up. This is the best way to tap into who you are.

You might be thinking that you don’t know. But, you can actually tap into what you desire. Just be patient, you can always find a desire somehow/someway.

Acknowledging desire goes against everything we’ve been taught, particularly for the feminine. But, my recommendation is to honor and recognize your desires. It’s an unfolding and opening process to acknowledge them.

Here is a great exercise for acknowledging desires:

Sit down and start writing them down. I desire… I desire… I desire… Or, have a friend do desire pulling with you. Either way, do it for 20 full minutes. Have them ask “What do you desire?” over and over and each time just say the first thing that pops into your head. Get really free with it, like nobody is watching or listening. Don’t monitor it.

It could be a donut or a coffee, but the farther you get into the feel of it, the more deeper things will come up. And, you’ll feel yourself connecting with your deeper desires.   

For instance, you can play with material outcomes. I desire a new outfit.  I desire a new car. I’d like a million dollars.

But, in Inquiry Method, I’d also ask follow-up questions about what it would mean to you or what it would feel like. That’s where you’ll start to feel the connection to your desires.

And then you can start to recognize and honor them – that you want to feel them, that you want to experience them.

On the other hand, you may find yourself starting to think you can’t have what you desire. That’s ok, too. Once it’s out there, then you can start to work with it. And, it’s amazing, the more you start to bring them out, the more they start happening.

Your desire starts to be a compass point. And as you stay present with it, the desires start growing around you. Just by putting your attention on it.

It starts to get you out of the cage. It’s not necessarily to the end of dissatisfaction, but more to a recognition of what is really true for you – a recognition of what you’d like to feel, or what experience you’d like to have.

Living Philosophies

There is a range in philosophies of life from Living Philosophies to Concrete or Non-Living Philosophies. On one end of the spectrum, Living Philosophies continue to evolve whereas Concrete Philosophies are static.

Living Philosophies are informed, updated, and, in a way, transformed by new ideas. Living Philosophies have truth at their core and they are constantly finding new ways of expressing, transmitting, and communicating that truth to others. Practitioners of Living Philosophies continue to experience deeper and deeper truth through this evolution.

Living Philosophies are inspired by creativity and source. The intention of Living Philosophies is to feel and experience truth at the highest altitude.

At the other end of the spectrum, Concrete Philosophies tend to have an emphasis on established practices, thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. Concrete Philosophies have an emphasis on the words and processes that have come before. They emphasize ritual and language that are static.

Living Philosophies can get sidetracked or lose their way in their evolution if they aren’t closely shepherded and guided by those in direct connection with truth. They can become concretized if people adopt the words and practices (while not in connection with the truth), and then start to lend intellectual or dogmatic interpretations to the words, documents or rituals associated with those ideas. If they start to treat the philosophy in a dogmatic way, it can become static and concretized.

It’s not that a Concrete Philosophies can’t lead one to spiritual experience, understanding, or growth. It’s just that those processes are no longer evolving. Often the problem with Concrete Philosophies or the concretizing of Living Philosophies is that the words or ideas become more important than the experience.

A Living Philosophy is adaptable to the need or character of the individual. A Living Philosophy is informed by interaction with its followers. It’s informed by the individual practitioners, and so the philosophy continues to evolve thru interaction, and the individuals experience deeper truth and deeper understanding through this evolution.

It is beautiful to see the trend of many traditionally Concrete Philosophies moving toward the living end of the spectrum.


Can you think of examples? Have you lived by any Concrete Philosophies? How about someone you know? How have you experienced Living Philosophies? Do they feel different?

Commit to the Arc

We’re trying something new. We’re recording the blogs on audio in case you would rather listen to them than read them. Click the play button to listen or scroll down to read the blog.

Yesterday I had a two-hour coaching session with my new roommate who is a racing driver. We went out on the LA streets and highways and into Topanga Canyon. He was coaching me on driving. I learned about race driving and we had an ongoing conversation on what a metaphor for life driving is.

One of the interesting things we worked on was cornering. When you enter into a corner you want to enter from the outside, and then you steer into the corner cutting it off within your lane. But, you don’t fully commit to the corner, or what they call the Apex. You start into the corner, there is a little bit of caution in that you wait until you can see your way out, then when you can see your way out, you steer for what is called the apex. The key is to not make any jags or jerks once you commit to the arc because if you make a jag or a jerk it puts extra pressure on the traction of the tires and can cause a wreck. So, the higher performance that you are the more you have to commit and anticipate and be right on the arc.

I had a coaching client come over my house right after going driving. He’s committed to being a screenwriter and he was questioning it.  We were able to see how he got derailed from his screenwriting career because he didn’t stay in the arc of it. We agreed he was going to write for a year and he questioned it and it really threw him off track. So, we got him back onto the arc that he had intended and is going to follow through with it.

There is this quality in racing, that is also the same as committing to coaching in Inquiry Method, or committing to your growth or committing to your business; that once you have the inspiration and you commit to a thing, the key is to follow it through until you exit, follow whatever you are doing until there is a completion rather than jumping off in the middle. There are times when it seems uncertain or that it may go wrong, or that there is an obstacle in your way, but for your safety and for a good outcome, you commit to the arc.

Here is the link to Josh’s Blog (Excellent Human and Driving Coach Extraordinaire):

Cleaning up your messes

I’m a bit of a clean freak. Not in the way we traditionally think about it, but in keeping my life sanitary, or you could even say sane-itary.

There is a quality of having backlogs and things undone that can take you out of the moment and burden your present. I notice the more sane-itarty I am, the more I’m able to appreciate and be in the present, and be present with whoever I’m with.

One example of being sane-itary is not having a pile of unread trade journals on your desk, another example is that I, for the most part, keep my email inbox hovering around zero. Sometimes there are 10 things that are kind of bookmarks or reminders, but I regularly process all my emails. Being up to date with things like wills, insurance, home repairs, appliance repairs, car care, bills paid, letters sent, communication made, plans updated. For some reason, these kinds of things hover around you all the time as long as they remain undone in your mind. They clutter your mind. They clutter your energy field. They clutter you emotionally and mentally. Even a disorganized closet, unwashed clothes, or unmade bed can trigger the feeling that there is always more to do. Sometimes it takes an effort to sanitize these things, but it is great to get on top of them or to have some maintenance program to stay sane-itary.

Suggested Self-Inquiry: Make a list of all the things that you would have to do to get sanitary and start cleaning them up. Even just making the list is a step in the right direction, it gets it out of your head and into a context where you can address them.

To go a little farther on this topic: read this blog about shifting your life from doing to being and read this blog about blocking time.

Meet Peggy

Hi wonderful people, I’m Peggy! I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself.

I just joined the team at Inquiry Method and wanted you to know a little more about me and what I’ll be doing. For a long time, Kyle has had a vision for more connection and community and I’ve come in to help build that connection.



I’ve been involved in the philosophy for a long time and I was first introduced to this company and the concepts at the age of 7 when my mom started coming to events. Her enthusiasm spread, and consequently, I was raised by an incredible community of relatives who also embraced the philosophy. I attended my first One Day/Personal Renewal when I was 8, my first Mountain Experience when I was 12, and became a Graduate of all of the experiences by the time I was 18. I grew up understanding how to feel my own truth and how to follow it, how to love with overflowing warmth, and how to create a space of safety and acceptance for myself and for others.

I’ve spent the last 11 years working in community organizing and activism – training people on how to effectively move forward on the path for things they care about. I spent that time working with people from all walks of life, but throughout it all, I got to focus on listening to where people were at, what was in their way, and I got to help them get clarity around what they wanted and how to get there.

Now I’m here, and I’m looking forward to supporting you on your path.



Upfront, I want you to know that I would LOVE to talk to you. I want to hear your ideas and to share my energy and enthusiasm. I want to support you to take the next step towards being your whole amplified self.

If you’ve been involved for a long time, I want to help you continue. I want to help raise the quality of what we offer you, and help you design the next phase of what you are looking for.

If you’re just getting started, I want to support you. I want to give you the best experience possible. In the immediate, I want you to be able to achieve and resolve what you are looking to. And then, help you continue to get more in touch with your own source and continue in the process.

If you used to be involved and you stepped back, I want to re-connect and see what is possible in this phase of your life. Invite you to re-discover the philosophy in the context of where your life is now.

If you don’t know what you’re looking for, but know you want more of this. I want to introduce you to tools and events that allow you to stay present in the process, or at least regularly inspired and invited to participate in your own growth.

Wherever you are at, I’ll be reaching out to you to see if you’d like to talk. I want to meet you and hear your story. If you want to talk now, send me a quick note at or sign up for a time here.

I look forward to connecting with you!

With love and gratitude,

Reducing Your Shoulder

A good friend of mine dislocated his shoulder at a retreat I attended last week.  A dislocated shoulder is very painful and scary; my friend had amazing composure and presence in his discomfort.  However you cannot, like in the movies, put it back in yourself, you need help.

I have been trained how to “reduce” (the term for putting it back in the socket) a dislocated shoulder but I have never done it, two very different things. We made a call and got additional professional instruction, which involved my friend laying face down on a massage table, supporting my friend to relax and let go, and then gently pulling down and rotating his arm back into place.  It happened easier than we could imagine. It dropped back in almost effortlessly, painlessly, to tears of relief and gratitude.

Inquiry Method is the same.  Inquiry Method works because we receive loving, skilled support.  It works because we are in connection. It works because we are held.  It works because we can deeply relax. It works because we can allow ourselves to return to our natural state.  Our being wants to return to wholeness.

We are never broken, but we may have some things dislocated.  If you want to reduce your dislocation, get skilled loving support. Put yourself in the position and location where you can resolve your dislocation and allow yourself to receive support.  When you resolve your dislocation you will experience tears of relief and joy as you return to your natural state of wholeness.




Looking for a place like this? Come to an event or schedule a call to talk through how we can support you

Honesty vs. Vulnerability

I was walking with a friend the other day and they and they said they were working on being honest in all their relationships.  There was a little part of me that cringed.  In my experience in having people “be honest” with me it usually meant that I was about to be criticized, honesty often has the quality of telling me about something they judged about me.  In a momentary burst of genius I said “I would rather you be vulnerable with me”.  They got it immediately and agreed that vulnerability would be more productive and lead to more closeness and intimacy.

In my mind, and I think culturally that there is a big difference between honesty and vulnerability.  In vulnerability we tend to share about ourselves, we are willing to be seen and have nothing to protect, we recognize and take responsibility for our feelings and actions. In honesty: “I think you are a real jerk sometimes”, in vulnerability: “sometimes I feel insecure around you”.  Which one creates more connection?  Which one makes you a victim and which one empowers you to grow and change?  I would love to hear your honesty vs. vulnerability comparisons; post some examples to help us all see the difference.

Much love,


How Are You?

When somebody asks “how are you?,” what do you say? Do you say “fine?” If so, I suggest going online and looking up what the acronym “F.I.N.E.” stands for. Do you say “good” or “bad?” Do you give a superficial answer, or a deep answer?

Sometimes, if someone is asking to be polite, it’s appropriate to say “I’m fine, how are you?” Sometimes, when it seems like someone is genuinely asking, we can be more honest. We may say that we didn’t have a great day, or we are not feeling very well.

My suggestion? Don’t use any of these answers. The next time someone asks how you are, give them a percentage. If you had a bad day, respond by telling them you’re 5% good. If you’re in a good mood, share that you’re “90% awesome”. This small habit will start to free up how you’re feeling. It can get rid of the mindset that anything under 100% is bad; if you think about it, even 25% awesome is pretty good!



Inquiry Management™ eCourse Launch: Lots of Exciting Things Happening Here!

There is so much going on around here lately, and the recent clarity of focus and understanding has created a whole new wave of enthusiasm and engagement. Now we have Mountain Experiences, Freedom Experiences, the Stop Parenting Book, Inquiry Weekend Experiences, Blogs, and Podcasts. To add to the excitement and energy, it is time to announce the release our first eCourse. The eCourse is a powerful segment that focuses on business, but also applies to family, relationships, and self.

The eCourse introduces the understanding of the Levels of Participation, or how we play with and interact with others. This understanding is an extremely profound and impactful understanding in every aspect of our lives, and will impact those around you and yourself. The eCourse is a fundamental building block, entry point, and deepening point into Inquiry Method™.

I would like to share this with you! The eCourse consists of nine classes, with each class taking about 40 minutes. It also includes an individual, private workbook for your reflections. You will love the course and the course is a wonderful way to share the philosophy with people you care about and others around you.

Part of the intention for this course is to give you, your employees, and your family a way to understand the concepts and communicate how to work and play together. Levels of Participation is vocabulary that we are sadly lacking in our culture. This eCourse will undoubtedly help you in your personal and professional life.

Inquiry Management™ eCourse can be licensed for individual use or alternatively site licenses are available for your corporation. Sign-up by 11/30/2017 to receive $50 off. Enter the coupon code “welcome” upon checkout!

You will find more information HERE