Want or Fantasy

Before we can manifest the life we want, we have to identify what it is that we really want. Most people’s ideas of what they want originate from their egos or identities or even popular culture. We often want things for the idea of things; we often want things that do not include the cost of having those things.

In my coaching experience, it is rare to have somebody come to me with a really clear idea about what they want. If they say, “I want a great relationship”, then we’ll start talking about what it takes to have a great relationship. Often times, however, people are not willing to do what it takes to have the great relationship. A simple example of this idea is wanting a boat. Lots of us want a boat, but boats are a lot of work and require a lot of maintenance and funding. They require working and being successful to a certain level that we can afford to have them. More often than not, most people who want a boat do not want the responsibilities that go along with it.

A lot of what we call “wanting” in our culture is more like fantasizing; it’s not taking the whole picture into account. When we really get to what we want, a lot of the time these things are seemingly not “A+ material” and require us to look into parts and places of ourselves that traditionally we have not been able to explore. These are things like wanting a great relationship—and wanting to put in the effort to get it—or wanting to be at peace with ourselves, or other thing like this. So, the first stage at getting what we want is by making clear what it is we really want. The second stage is to realize what has to change in you so that you can have what it is you really want.

Authoring Your Life

Most people think of their mind as their controlling mechanism. However I believe that when we examine it more deeply we find that the mind is rarely strong enough to go against our inner desire or when it does it is to our detriment. We think that thinking can or will override what our actual intention is or what we actually want.

In Inquiry Method we’re looking to derail the mindset that thought has authority over ourselves; in Inquiry Method the only real authority is our inner source, where our intention already exists even before we think about it. Sometimes our minds try to override our true desires and intentions with intellectual or mental intentions or actions. If we can identify these thoughts and set them aside, and look deeper, we can find out what it is that we really want on the deepest level and live our lives from that.

The Mountain Experience ultimately helps you liberate yourself to connect with your source. The focus of the Mountain Experience is on the emotional things that obscure and overlay the ability to sense into what we really want, our source.

It’s important to talk about what we mean by feelings when we discuss source. There are two kinds of feelings: emotional feelings and inner-knowing feelings. When we’re talking about inner-knowing feeling, this is about uncovering our true intentions and true desires and embracing them. Desire and intentions are intimately tied together.

In our culture, women, much more so than men, have not been allowed to have or express their desires; consequently, women in particular really need to learn to develop their own approval for their desires. Desire is the key to intention and is what we mean by authoring our life, a life built on our actual desire. When we’re really in touch with our authentic desires, not just the intellectual ones or the emotionally reactive ones we become powerful and manifest the lives we want.

Sometimes we confuse other people too, because we tell others that our desire is this when what we actually want is that. People often say one thing and then do something totally different when they are not fully in touch with their authentic desires. I encourage you to connect with your inner knowing and to become in alignment with your true desires. I invite you to use me as a guide to help filter through the noise to help you connect with your true self.

Love,

Kyle

A Word on Wanting…

In order to talk about wanting, we must first talk about having.

There is nothing wrong with having. Having is fun; we have so much, so let’s enjoy it.

Wanting, however, is a huge problem. As soon as we want, we experience lack. Lack is a hollow feeling, an anxious feeling. Contrary to popular belief, we do not have to want to have. They are in fact opposites.

Over 90% of our suffering is from wanting. Even if I “have” a pain in my back, 90% of that suffering is “wanting” it to end. In the moment itself the pain is not so bad; however, the fear it will never end is what causes the majority of the suffering.

Here’s an example. You are fine, content… then you pick up a magazine and see someone wearing a Cartier with a beautiful man/woman on his/her arm. All of a sudden you have a hollow feeling and some anxiety and now you are wanting, something is wrong, you need to fix it, you need money, how will you get it, no time to relax, get to work… Now, you are stuck with anxiety and a job you don’t love; consequently, you lose your freedom yet are still wanting…

There is nothing wrong with having; it is wanting that is the problem.

What wants are you willing to surrender so that you can have your life?