Living a Desire Based Life

I recommend a life based on desire. But, how do we know what we want? How do we get to know ourselves?

To get to know your desires, you tap into your source. Get quiet, wait, and see what you desire. Don’t put your attention on your mind or your emotions. Just wait. And, some desire will pop up.

Try it now, ask yourself: What’s one thing you’d like to get out of today?

It’s not a thought, not a should, not a reaction to the emotional body. It comes from your source. Get quiet, and wait for a desire to pop up. This is the best way to tap into who you are.

You might be thinking that you don’t know. But, you can actually tap into what you desire. Just be patient, you can always find a desire somehow/someway.

Acknowledging desire goes against everything we’ve been taught, particularly for the feminine. But, my recommendation is to honor and recognize your desires. It’s an unfolding and opening process to acknowledge them.

Here is a great exercise for acknowledging desires:

Sit down and start writing them down. I desire… I desire… I desire… Or, have a friend do desire pulling with you. Either way, do it for 20 full minutes. Have them ask “What do you desire?” over and over and each time just say the first thing that pops into your head. Get really free with it, like nobody is watching or listening. Don’t monitor it.

It could be a donut or a coffee, but the farther you get into the feel of it, the more deeper things will come up. And, you’ll feel yourself connecting with your deeper desires.   

For instance, you can play with material outcomes. I desire a new outfit.  I desire a new car. I’d like a million dollars.

But, in Inquiry Method, I’d also ask follow-up questions about what it would mean to you or what it would feel like. That’s where you’ll start to feel the connection to your desires.

And then you can start to recognize and honor them – that you want to feel them, that you want to experience them.

On the other hand, you may find yourself starting to think you can’t have what you desire. That’s ok, too. Once it’s out there, then you can start to work with it. And, it’s amazing, the more you start to bring them out, the more they start happening.

Your desire starts to be a compass point. And as you stay present with it, the desires start growing around you. Just by putting your attention on it.

It starts to get you out of the cage. It’s not necessarily to the end of dissatisfaction, but more to a recognition of what is really true for you – a recognition of what you’d like to feel, or what experience you’d like to have.

Women in the Workplace

The exclusion of women from leadership positions in our companies and organizations has deeply affected the way we do business. We urgently need to have masculine/feminine balance inform the business (and governing) process.

Where the masculine is good at getting things done, it also tends to overlook the impact and ancillary effects of how something is accomplished. The feminine tends to look at whole systems, the wellbeing of people, and long-term success. As I have said many times before, the masculine in all of us is concerned with “what I want (or need)” where the feminine in all of us tends to look to “what we want (or need)”.

What if we were surrounded by people, businesses, agencies, and systems that were just as concerned for our long term well being as immediate short term gains? How would it affect our culture of business?


The Unexpected/Hidden Prejudice

I am experiencing frustration!

Lately, as I have been speaking to female friends and associates, I have been noticing a trend. It could be because it is ripe in the world, or because I am waking up to the awareness, or some of both.

What I am finding is that many women and men on a deep level believe that women have less value than men. That is crazy!

Of course, most of us would not say that we thought that or believed in it, but when I am observing it through the lens of inquiry I have been discovering the basic belief that women are less valuable.

Under examination this belief cannot be true, it is a false premise that affects us all profoundly. We have done much of the outer work around women’s liberation but to go further we must all do the inner work of women’s liberation.

At a core, many believe that the value of women is in their beauty and attractiveness. Many women believe that they lose value as they age.

The truth is that we are desperately missing the contribution of the feminine in our culture, and the masculine is over emphasized. It is not that one is better than the other but that they are designed (evolved) to balance each other. As Jean Houston puts it “we are in need of a mutual co-arising of masculine and feminine”.

The masculine in all of us is about doing, fixing, accomplishing, directing, overcoming, and, in a way creating “what I want”.

The feminine in all of us wants balance, harmony, beauty, right action, supporting the well-being of the collective, what I call tapping into “what is wanted”.

Both these voices need to be heard and integrated.

The maturing woman has grown her capacity to recognize “what is wanted,” this is so valuable it is hard to believe that we cannot see it or value it in our culture. We all must make a change so that we can see, appreciate and value this capacity for what it is truly worth.

I invite you to take a deep dive into yourself, explore your relationship with the feminine and see how it affects and informs how you hold women in your life. If you are a woman, look to see how it affects the way you see yourself. If you are a man, look to see how it affects the way you see and interact with the women in your life and your relationship with the feminine within you.

This blog is just scratching the surface of the topic. Please let me know if you want to hear more about it. I believe it to be one of the critical topics of our time.