How would it change your perspective if you walked through life knowing that you cannot change anyone else?
How would it change your communication with others if you never wanted them to change?
The only person able to change you is you. The only person able to change them is them.
If we are not trying to change another person, the most effective tool is Inquiry. Once we realize that we can’t change others, then Inquiry is useful for finding out what they are like, what they feel, and what they want.
Even though we can’t change them, can still know them and find a way to have them in our picture.
Through Inquiry, we may be able to find a way in which we want inspires the other person to behave in a way that gets them (and potentially you) what they (and you) want and your wants overlap.
Try walking through one day with no desire to have anyone change. Just be curious about others and see what happens. See where you find overlaps (wants for “us”).